Thursday, January 19, 2017

Medical Condition

 It would seem that there is someone living in this house that is very concerned that I might have a medical condition that is affecting my memory.  Apparently, I have been saying all kinds of nasty things to Jim for months now and since I know for a fact that his claims are false, I must have a genuine health problem that is causing me to forget everything that I say to him.

 Jim is so distressed about my possible health situation that he felt it was necessary to spend Saturday waiting for me to leave the house, so he could go straight to Kelsey and ask her if she has noticed my failing memory.  Kelsey dismissed him and went about her business.

If you have a narcissist in your life, you know that they are not only pathological liars, but will deflect blame on to anyone and everyone for the things they do instead of taking responsibility for themselves.  This is just another example of Jim's downward spiral and how desperate he has become.  I find it quite fascinating that the only time this medical condition affects me is when I interact with Jim.  I don't seem to have any memory problems with anyone else or any other aspect of my life.

I can't help but wonder, after 30 years of Jim's selective memory and constant forgetfulness,  what medical condition does he have.

Monday, January 16, 2017

Quote Of The Day

"Love Yourself More Than You Hate Someone Else"
 ~Author Unknown~

Quotes present themselves when least expected, but much needed.  This is what these words mean to me:
If someone is saying and doing things to you that cause you to hate them, stop.
It takes a lot of time and energy to hate someone.
Put that time and energy into loving yourself.
You're worth it.
They're not.

Friday, January 13, 2017

Hear A Problem, Fix A Problem

None of the floors in this old house are level, so none of the furniture sits level.  Just about everything has those felt furniture pads underneath to keep them flat.

The hutch in the dining room got moved more than a week ago, in order to touch up the paint on the wall behind it, when it got moved back into place, it started to rattle.  I kept checking to make sure it was level and not moving and everything seemed fine, but it still kept making noise every time I walked by.  

It took a few days, but I figured it out.  The bottoms of the glass doors no longer closed tightly, so when you walked by, the doors would rattle.  An attempt to fix them was made, but it was unsuccessful.  I was told that if the noise bothered me that much I could wrap an elastic band around the two doorknobs.  I tried - didn't work 

So, I got out my screwdriver and took the doors off.  Problem solved.  I don't care what it looks like and since no one is allowed in my house, I don't have to worry about what anyone else thinks either.  The hutch is an old piece of crap that is not long for the big scrap pile in the sky and until then, no rattle.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Rose Marshall

Good bye, dear Rose.  You will be missed.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017


I love quotes because I love words.  It never ceases to amaze me how powerful a small cluster of words can be.  There are several that have guided me through my life and I hope there will be many more.

Some stay with you for a lifetime, guiding you along your journey.  Others present themselves in your darkest hour, offering strength and support when you need it the most.  They can be both motivating and inspiring.

Quotes have the ability to make us think and feel.  They offer comfort and clarity when nothing or no one can.  They guide us to higher ground when we feel like we are drowning and if we are lucky, they will make us laugh and help us see the lighter side of things.

I think I will share some of my favorite quotes here from time to time; I like to share.

Sunday, January 8, 2017

Homestead Plans 2017

I guess this post is kind of redundant since there are no plans for the homestead for 2017 and we all know why.  Just for the hell of it, I'm going to share the list anyway.


1.  No new roof for the house.
2.  No wrap around porch will be built.
3.  No orchard will be planted.
4. No new livestock.
5.  No keeping of bees.

I am neither sad nor angry about this; in fact, I am quite relieved.  I can't express how exhausting it is being argued with, talked down to, bullied and harassed when it comes to just about everything around here.  Needless to say, I'm looking forward to the peace and quiet this situation will bring me.

Don't worry about me though, I have plenty to keep me occupied here on the homestead.  I've got my home, yard, dogs, chickens and garden to keep me busy.  I don't care if I have to whore myself on every street corner to pay for seeds, I will have a garden.

For now, these things will be enough and when they no longer are, I know what I'll need to do.

Friday, January 6, 2017

Money Matters Pt. 2

If you think the financial mess that Jim has gotten himself into is a rare occurrence, you would be wrong.  This is a life long pattern with him and it's obvious that if he hasn't gotten his act together by now, he never will.  Jim feels an incredible sense of entitlement; no one is going to stand in his way when it comes to what he wants and feels he deserves.  It is this narcissistic behavior that keeps getting Jim into trouble and the worst part is he doesn't give a damn about who else it affects.

No one is perfect when it comes to money, we all make mistakes.  I've made money mistakes in my life, big ones.  Not only did I work my butt off to fix them, I learned some important lessons:

1.  Debt is like having a noose around your neck.  As long as you owe money, you will never have any peace in your life.
2.  Credit cards are not the problem.  The people that use them and how they are used is the problem.
3.  The only way to stay out of debt is to live within your means.
4.  Do not spend more than you earn.

It seems pretty basic, but a lot of people just don't get it.  Unfortunately, Jim is one of those people and that is why I've had to make sure I am as financially separate from him as possible.

This is how it is:

1.  We have no joint credit.  We each have a credit card in our own name and neither is responsible for the others debt.  That is the law.
2.  The kids' college fund account is in my name only.  Jim has no access to it at all.  Don't even get me started about that.
 3.  I have my own retirement and investment accounts.
4.  Our individual vehicles are registered in our own names.  We do share joint ownership of the vehicle we were given last year.
5.  We have a joint bank account that Jim's paycheck is deposited into and I pay the bills out of.
6.  The utility accounts are in Jim's name.  Should he ever decide to make it difficult for me to pay those bills, the companies can go after him.
7.  We are co-owners of the house and land.  This really pisses Jim off.  He truly believes that he is the sole owner because I don't work outside the home and the mortgage payment comes out of his paycheck.
8.  The accounts for the property taxes, house insurance and vehicle insurance have to be in both our names.  I know what is going with those accounts at all times.
9.  I have maintained excellent credit.  I have better credit scores than Jim does and this also pisses him off.  Jim thinks because I don't bring home a paycheck that I don't exist in the financial world.  Wrong.

It is both sad and pathetic that I've had to do everything in my power to protect myself from Jim's financial irresponsibility, but when you have someone like him in your life, you do what you have to do.  Jim can continue down the path that he finds himself on again, but he sure as hell isn't taking me with him.  Not anymore.